The hard truth about pre-marital sex - Counsellor Adofoli
These days teenagers cannot wait to have sex, their focus is on the fun and exciting part of it, and their belief is that adults want to deprive them from what they are enjoying.
For others it’s purely out of curiosity, but they forget that curiosity they say killed the cat. To some the ability to indulge in sex is a sign of maturity. Girls these days think the stage of wearing a brassiere signifies maturity, while boys think removing these brassieres is a mark of attaining maturity.
Some people also think having an enjoyable marriage in the future means you must first have an enjoyable sex life as singles; and others think sex is love. Whatever your confusion is about this topic, I will try as much as possible to make this simple for everyone. No matter how you see sex, pre-marital sex continues to be a sin before God.
Sex can never guarantee anyone a happy and lasting marriage, for sex only joins bodies. If a man or woman wants you because of sex, it means they are only attracted to your body. And once your body loses its beauty or value, you will surely be dis-joined. Once they find another person with a more attractive body, you will be replaced.
It also means they can have sex with anyone who comes their way without thinking twice; it means in such relationships there is nothing much to talk about besides sex. It also means the two involved are like strangers living together and are only experts of their bodies and how to effectively explore it.
Love surely goes beyond this. Love is when souls are joined together. When someone takes time to get into your soul and gets attracted to your soul rather than just your body, you have a deep feeling for such person and know so much about each other like twins. You can't do without the other, and you can't sacrifice your union for anything.
We all have the power to determine the kind of marriage we want; sweet or sour, better or bitter. The power lies in the kind of person you settle down with.
The bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:12 (NLV) "I am allowed to do all things, but not everything is good for me to do! Even if I am free to do all things, I will not do them if I think it would be hard for me to stop when I know I should".
Sex is one thing that no matter how tempting it gets or how affordable it’s offered, we should never accept it; but since Proverbs 9:17 (TLB) says "Stolen melons are the sweetest; stolen apples taste the best!” it seems we can't resist it.
The future is always unknown, people can promise you heaven and earth but it will amaze you to find out it was all dream. This is why you need to evaluate the man or woman you want to end up with tomorrow as a spouse. If they can successfully handle or manage a little, much can be entrusted in their care. If you can't hold back on sex for this short period of us dating, then what proves you can be faithful when another person approaches you? How sure am I that you won't leave me for someone else or go out and have it elsewhere if for any medical or others reasons, we can’t have sex for a while?
If they do have sex with you before marriage, which is a sin, then know that once this person can disobey God they can easily disobey you and have it with another person. If such a person can choose man over God, choosing another man over you is not far-fetched.
Sex before marriage creates insecurities and mistrust in relationships. It does more damage than good to relationships. It’s a chief cause of cheating in marriages, and of most divorces.
In conclusion don't start marriage on a bad foundation. Now that you know what the truth is, there is no need entertaining what you think.